Thursday, January 27, 2005


I for some reason have been in a really good mood this week and trust me that doesnt happen to often. I have plenty of things to happen to put me in a bad mood, but I chose to laugh and smile about them and go on with my life. Ok, maybe I bitched for 30 mins or so, but I went right back to being in a good mood!
I am learning to not let things bother me but every once in awhile someone will do or say something that will just get to me. But I am still in a good mood and I like that. Its so weird cause I am just waiting for my bad mood to creep in and be like WHAM.......
I sometimes find myself getting annoyed with others cause I dont understand what is wrong with them, why did someone say what they did or why do they think like that, but I just tell myself, they are being who they are suppose to be and I have to accept it. Its kinda like a "So what", no big deal.......*cough cough* nothing you can do.
I am feel the need to vent, but I really dont have anything to vent about it! Work is fine, I only use my nose spray 2 times today (its only 12:46). I had a good nights sleep. My lips are chapped but I am alive and loving life.
Little over a year now I have not hated life or wish I was dead or anything. I think its cause I chose to love life and make myself happy. Yes I get in bad moods, yes I get down and yes I get angry but I am learning to let go of what I can not change and just saying "so what" to other things. LOL :)
I am actually happy with life right now and not being selfish but wish people around me would be the same way and just let go of the small things. And when I say selfish, I dont mean as in a way of taking the last cookie or something silly. It is ok to be selfish when it comes to your happiness but other then that, its just rude!
Sometimes, the small things make you smile and other times they get on your nerves but you have to learn to accept the GOOD small things and forget about the other BAD small things.
Sometimes in life you have to take a step back and try to understand thru someone elses eyes, heart and mind. You might not ever understand but its just healthy and good to try to put yourself in someone else shoes every once in awhile.
One last thing...........Dont ever say sorry for your feelings! That is who you are and a part of you, so its basically saying.......sorry I am me.............

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Boston Bound!

Ok, so I am going to Boston in a month. I am going to stay with a "friend", but I still have to look good. I wont have a tan, I wont loose the 5lbs that I really want to and my hair will probably be frizzy and I am going to freeze but I am going to have a good time and just have to impress everyone with my charm? Which I have none of by the way.

I am really nervous but I am going to suck it up and just go and have a good time. I really really want to go and I have waited to go for a long long time now, but I was to scared. Right now we flirt on the phone and I dont think twice before I call him, which the same goes for him, but now like what if I go and spend all this time with my "friend" only to come to the conclusion that I dont like him, or I am not crushing on him anymore. That would soooo suck and bum me out!

Even worse, what if he doesnt flirt with me anymore. What if he doesnt like me, what if he finds the truth that I am the worlds BIGGEST he probably knows I am dorky, he just has NO IDEA) I am not even sure if he crushes on me like I do him, I just know its fun to have a crush and for now he is going to be my crush.

Monday, January 10, 2005

Cant help myself

I FINALLY went out this weekend dont worry we didnt let the Rock Star image down.......

I had a really good time. I met me a new boy toy..........Which I like for now, but I know I will only let him down and even crack his heart. I know he is a dude and they talk shit, but I think this one might really like me and so for some reason, I am feeling bad about letting this one go.
I dont know what to do, but I will deal with it when it comes around. I even gave him a heads up that this would happen.......he seems to think it wont. I always say "guys should come with a warning label" I know change that and say.....EVERYONE should come with a label!

Sis wedding

OK so my sister is getting married on May 7th in Jamica at a COUPLES resort, so I have 2 options. 1 find a guy to go with me and pretend to be my loving boyfriend or 2) pay like over a 100.00 to get a pass and come to the wedding! Now might I add why in the world would I want to stay there when its all couples, I wont have anyone to flirt with. I dont have any guy friends to go with me. I dont want to pay over 100.00 to get in the hotel just to be around couples, thats money I might need at a club where SINGLE people will be.

I cant just get my best friend to go and act like we are gay, they dont allow that! how messed up is that. So needless to say, I just might have to miss Jamica and watch it on a lovely VHS state of the art tape!

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Ill mood

I had to work today, which was nothing cause i cant get the comp up and running, which in returns means I will have to work 10 to 12 hours tomorrow, so I am in a pissy mood. This not only being the only reason. Just one amoung many. I have dont nothing but read every blog known to man kind, even the ones that are not in english, just to see if I could make out one word here and there. They piss me off, I cant read the ones wrote in spanish, I didnt take spanish, there should be some kind of transltor that fixes it for me so I can read them all, even the boring ones, cause I read those when I am bored. I have ate noodles all day, the first pack was NASTY made me feel the need to vomit and the 2nd, well they were good but I was bored so I ate.

Everyone is sleeping or doing something off the wall......I got online to try to chat, just to kill time, that didnt work. I get ill too cause I want to speak freely on this and I really cant! That sucks.......but then again, I am just in a bad mood. I am gonna go home and lay down and hopefully get up on the OTHER side of the bed.............

might be a dup

I just seen this in my folder and thought I would share. Even though you probably all seen it, I am gonna write it again!
*ok I am stuck at work with nothing to do*

A woman should old love she can imagine going back to....and one who reminds her how far she has come
* ok I got the old one, now I am ready for the new one that reminds me how great I am

A woman should have.........enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to
*I got my Daddy for I am good

A woman should have.......something perfect to wear if the employer or the date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour.......
*never gonna happen, so no need!

A woman should have.......a youth she's contentto leave behind.....
*I am soooooo ready to grow up!

A woman should have........a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age........
*Got that one down me

A woman should have........a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra
*working on all 3

A woman should friend who always makes her laugh......and one who lets her cry
*check and check..........

A woman should have......a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family
*I have NOTHING but hand me downs

A woman should have..........a feeling of control over her destiny.......
*Dont have that feeling yet, but maybe tomorrow

How to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship

Every woman should know............
when to try harder and when to walk away
*dont like to walk away

Every woman should know.......
what she would and wouldnt do for love or more..........

Every woman should know.........
how to live alone, even if she doesnt like it

Every woman should know.........
whom she can trust, who she cant, and why she shouldnt take it personally

Every woman should know......
where to it to her best friends kitchen table or a charming inn in the woods when her soul needs something

Every woman should know..
what she can and cant accomplish in a day, a month and a year

Another year gone!

Ok, so I didnt so anything on New Years eve! I really didnt. I watched everyone have a good ole' time! I think everyone was drunk by 11:00, no lets make that 10:30! I didnt drink, for one reason or another! I went to bed around 12:30 with my kitty. Mokey came back home that day and now when I sleep she has to be right on top of me. It is driving me insane, but a small price I have to pay for having my baby girl with me. She already thinks she owns the place. Tinker (the other cat) doesnt really know what to think. I can see the look in Tinkers eyes.........she wants to pounce on Mokeys tail, and while Mokey is VERY aware that Tinker wants to, she is just daring Tinker to do so!

I didnt kiss any guys at 12:00..........I gave B a kiss, just cause I was mostly proud that she lastested till 12:00. Ames looked at me around 11:30 and said that her Jack were about to head home..........around 11:50, Ames was in B's bed, ready for dream land, but she got one last burst of energy and made it also. But needless to say, she didnt make it anywhere but the bed!

I am gonna just pay for a date next year if I have to! I think I want to go somewhere next year, I am not sure, but I like the thought of it!

This year was yet another boring year with nothing but my boozing it up stories! I hope this year something cool happens to me. Not another crush, not another heart acke, but maybe like.......I find oil in TN or find the winning golden ticket! Just something!