Tuesday, November 30, 2004

just another entry

*while you read this, keep in mind I am sitting infront of some shit that says.....HARMONY and TRANQUILITY...................................

*make note, what the hell is it suppose to do, feed some harmony energy to me..........cause it aint working!

Ok, so...life is good, sitting at a co workers desk, cause something went wrong with my computer......and if this bitty comes in here one more time....I WILL CUT HER HAIR OFF.......I will do it too. OK so I am not having the BEST of days. I am pissy, hungry and little sensitive and can and will go postal at any point in time. But I dont think it is PMS........but who knows. I know I dont care. I was fine this morning, in a good mood, which I should of known. If I wake up in a bad mood, I end up having a good day. If I wake up in a good mood, I have a shitty day.

I just dont get people AT ALL.......I try and try, but no matter what I do or say, I will never understand them and find myself making up excuse for me rather then them, when I should just be like....What did you just say you F$%#ing C#$%..........Did you just hear what you said? Who are you and why are you being like that? But no, I just say.........Em your taking it the wrong way, just let it go........but it touches every last nerve known to me and my little life.

So needless to say, this will be the 5th time I have had to start my day over and its already 4:11. Could be worse, I suppose.

Friday, November 26, 2004


I just thought I would write, I am bored at work while everyone I know is eating, sleeping or drinking......yeah so its only 12:00, whats the big deal.............

Thanksgiving was fine, nothing special. I had to hear my sister and her friends talk about their boyfriens the WHOLE time...........seriously........but its ok cause I am glad my sis found someone to make her happy, lord knows she cant do it!

Grandmother, hasnt changed a bit, well her mind is going but other then that, she is the same.
Mom is still crumpy and hates life.
Dad was happy with his new bling bling watch..........I had to sit in the living room with my nephew who is 4 almost 5 while he ate peanut butter sandwich, so basically I ate at the "kids table", gotta love that at 25!

Other then, I started drinking at 4:00 by 7:00 I had lost my buzz and by the time we got to the bar I was hungry, so needless to say...........I was home by 11:30. But Jack and Amy had them a good ole time!!! I think Jack laughed for about 15 miles and we may never know what he was laughing at........I think I have narrowed it down.

1) the fact that he use to drive the bronco with a 10 gallon bucket as a seat?
2) The fact that he wore ames scarf (dark pink with light pink on the ends)
3) The fact that he wore ames PINK hat
4) The fact that he got up to see why this girl was on the phone for so long. HE THOUGHT she was on the phone for hours and hours but she had left and came back. Keep in mind he doesnt even know her.
5) The fact that he just HAD to kill the pitcher of beer before we left
6) He busted out laughing in the parking lot and I am still not even sure why
7) He farted REALLY loud at the table and he DIDNT know it was that loud
8) He thought Brandy hit something??

*I have no clue to be honest, I am not even sure if HE knows why....but we will get to the bottom of this...lol

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

got it from AT...fits me...lol

Your mysterious..... Like you have a secret but,
everyone has secrets that they don't want
anyone to know. So don't be ashamed if you
think you weird but, your not. It's cool being
mysterious like you might have cool

What Type Of Girl Are You???(Amazing Pics)
brought to you by

Friday, November 19, 2004

Devil has my heart

Ok.........I think the title fits just cause I try to be "good girl" but it never seems to fit me.
I talk myself into going out, I talk myself OUT of going out, friends talk me into it, I talk myself out, then they got me....hook line and sinker............Here is how it happen

Aim-I am so excited, I havent been out in forever
Em-yeah yeah, but I dont know if I want to go
Aim-ohhh no your going
Em- ok, call me when ya get home

Later on I MADE up my mind...I was NOT going to go, I am NOT going.
get home.........watch a movie, get in the bath tub.........DEAD GIVE AWAY that I am gonna go out, I dont take a bath AND wash my hair for NO REASON.


B-ok, I am going and we are going to have a good time and I mean it.
Em-ok but what is the game plan
B-I thought we were going to the pinnacle
Em- ok, ok...but we cant stay out late
B-dont you worry about a thing, we are going to have a good time
Em- ok....

I am talking on the phone to my new crush running around trying to get ready just think to myself that i DONT need to go out. So I call Aims.

EM-what are you doing
Aim-getting ready, I am so ready to get out of the house
EM-I dont think I want to go
Aim- awww, why not....(you could hear the dissappointment, broke my heart)
Em-I just really dont need to go out and come to work feeling like shit and I dont want to get in trouble.
AIm- NOOOOOO (said in a sad voice) but I am not gonna make you
*at this point I thought I was good
Em-ok, well yall have fun
Aim-bye...........(said in ANOTHER more sad rip my heart out voice)

so then I am feeling kind of bad so I call B

Em-hey, what is the game plan
B-well I thought you werent going (you could hear the anger in her voice, she wasnt sad, she was pissy..lol)
Em=well I dont want to but I want to know the game plan.
B-Come on, we will just drink beer, no shots........
Em-ok, I call Aim back and let her know

call aims and she was probably jumping up and down.
But needless to say............after 6 beers and about 7 shots...........and one drink that someone stole so dude got me another one and I walked off and left it again.............Didnt even go to the normal starting spot.....lost my cell phone, it was in the rain outside????? Got home around 2:30, feel like shit but LOVING LIFE. But B's reasoning for the shots was.....well we didnt get any Cherrybombs so its ok if we do ONE shot.........it sounded good to me!

*make mental note, when B says...just beer......she means justONE beer and a shit load of shots

Thursday, November 18, 2004

I am still alive

I know....I know...its not like me to go this long and not write in here, but I have been so busy with work. I have not had time to write or read the random blogs that I so love to read.

I had a good weekend....I think.......yeah I am pretty sure I did...yeah I did.

Sat I hung out with the girls and we played the best game of Monopoly ever......and I mean EVER. We need to finish the game though.

I know I have stories but cant remember them...the only thing I can remember is B saying "I shook it last night and I shouldnt of shook it"...............It was really funny at the time............

*and yes 420 boy called me Monday to see if i wanted to go to dinner......UMMM NO dumbass, I picked a fight with you so I didnt have to talk to you anymore! I know this is mean, but I had to.

Other then that, I have to get back to work...........

Monday, November 08, 2004

You throwing rocks at me?

Ok, so this is just one small note about saturday night. Friday was a simple night, dinner and a movie with my friends.

Ok Saturday night.........My friend came in from GA this weekend and well with us having a NON PARTY night on friday night, it was time to go out and "party like rockstars" without body guards!

We go to the normal starting place, we get there early so we dont have to pay, which by the time everyone shows up we are about 5 drinks ahead and sometimes that isnt a good idea. Before you know if it is getting late and we are all having a good time, I didnt do anything STUPID this time. I was mild but yet having a good time. About this time B is wanting to go to the next bar to see if her "lover boy" was there. I didnt care at that point, I was ready for anything. So somehow, some way B finds us a ride..........our ride wasnting leaving yet. So we walk out with our friends that are gonna take us.......and for some reason, the guys almost got in a fight and I am not even sure why, but its ok, we move past that and all get in the car. B being half light at this point is being really mean to our ride, so I am just kinda ...shhh b, we need a ride, at one point he pulled over and almost let us out on the main rode..........FREAKY HUH...but he didnt, He knew better!

So I tell the guys that took us there to back off a little bit cause me and B are gonna try to get in free............not sure why, but you have got to atleast try. While we are waiting in line, Bs LOVERBOY walks up and gets in line behind us and B is all freaking out..........we finally get to the door and I tell the guy, I only have my Check Card, which I didnt....and here comes drunk ass B.......no I got money, I got 5 for ya........so needless to say I didnt pay to get in but for some reason B paid...but the way she paid was like she was giving him a 5 $ tip.........."I got money, I got money for YOU, I got a 5$ bill just for you. here ya go" She aint right by any means.

We are all inside, everything is going good........I look over and see Bs loverboy all up on some girl, who was SKANK might I add........she had some star tattoos...on her NECK that looked like a 5 year old drew them on there for her. I normally dont talk about other girls but this one deserves it.........she is a skanky window licking rock throwing hoochie! (well thats what I think)

Next thing I know, LOVERBOY comes over and gets B and takes her outside so I am like...ok B is good, I can go mingle, well I get stopped by one of Bs old crushes...(not sure what to call him), so here I am trying to make him feel better when really I was single and wanting to go mingle, I was having a good night, already had a couple of guys talk to me, so I had to do a walk around and see what happened, well needless to say, that didnt happen!

I end up going out side the front door, not sure why but I did. I met a girl and a guy outside, the guy was all upset about his girlfriend breaking up with him and it was clear that girl wanted to boost his self esteem........and well me being me after a night of drinking, I have a habit if being brutly honest.................Girl-look at him, aint he a hottie..........I look over and well he was nice looking and I said....."yeah you aint bad, but whatever you do, DO NOT WEAR THAT necklace"
he just laughed, so I sat down, keep in mind I HAVE NO CLUE WHY I AM OUT THERE. The next thing I Know this guy is spilling his heart to me and the girl is just smiling and watching him as if she is amazed that a guy could be upset over a girl....Yes I know its a SHOCKER but it happens!!!!!!!!!!! So I get enough of this sad shit and look over and see LOVERBOY leaving with the OTHER girl..........so here I go back inside........
T a friend of mine said, I think Brandy got in a scuffle with that one girl..........I said "what girl", he said "you know that one girl".............He was talking about LOVERBOYS OTHER GIRL OF THAT NIGHT.............so I go to the bathroom and I yell out......"BBBB you in here" she is ON the toilet, she flings open the door and said something, I couldnt tell you. I just seen her crying, so I said...I will be right back...........hold my drink.

So I head outside, not really sure what to say, but I was like, ok I am gonna see what this girl has to say and find out why my best friend is crying.

I get to the car and I said.....what the !@#$ is going on..........next thing I know the girl is yelling at the top of her lungs and I see hands just flying..........so I went to hit her, next thing I know she is spinning in gravel and I am going around LOVERBOY kicking her........and she comes up and THROWS ROCKS AT ME.......not just A ROCK.........but ROCKS then she went back to the gravel for more, she throw 2 hand fulls of rock.........AT ME ................AT ME PEOPLE........at this point I stood there and said.......are you throwing rocks at me and she said something, well she yelled something and the only thing I heard was something about a cocksucker and I said..........F You whats your point.....LMAO.............I dont even care for that.......but anyways, the bouncer is there at this point and we just kinda walk away...........next thing I know 5-6 bouncers are running outside and I said, its over with, its done I am right here........and they turn around and look at me and say "ohh hell" then I headed back inside and drank my beer and was in complete shock of how "she throw rocks at me" ....who does that?

Well come to find out, Her eye is black and blue and it was swollen shut.......even though the whole time I didnt think I hit her, we will go with it............hehe....YOU DONT THROW ROCKS AT A ROCKSTAR...............damnit!

I go outside give T my beer and head out

Monday, November 01, 2004

Letting go

Sometimes in life you just have to come to that point where you have to let go. Come to a point where enough is enough and it really wasnt the end of the world!

You always work on letting go, but you never really let go! Its ok to hold on to a little love every now and then, but thats only cause love is good, but just go ahead and let go of everything else. It will never be the same and it shouldn't be.........You were not happy then so you wont be happy with it back again. I always say "everything happens for a reason" and I truely beleive that. So with that said........I have already began the process of letting go and find that I feel different today then I did 6 months ago. I actually have had a lot of weird feelings lately, some that I never felt before so I am totally happy with the fact that I can move on, I can feel something other then "holding on to NOTHING". I have finally learned to love the memories and smile from them. I no longer think about the past or the future or what could of been, cause there is NO what could of been....this is what it is and what it should be!

It is such a good feeling, I feel so good inside and out that I dont feel the same. I thought I would never feel this way.....I dont even think I wanted to get over him, I thought he would always be there, he would never lie, never hurt me............he did, he did them all.....yes a part hates him but a part will always love him. Its a balancing act, I just had to balance it out.
I think in a weird way, he himself helped me love him and get over him so for that I will love and care for him, but I no longer feel the NEED for him and that my friend is a GOOD FEELING!

SaturDAY....cool...NIGHT...not so cool

Ok.......SaturDAY, came home (well Bs house, which is my home, thursday thru Sunday) I had a b-day party to go to at 1, Ames came and got me and we went to get a present, cause we are slackers........so We get to the B-day party and I just have to give props to AT for being not only I am sure the BEST mom but the COOLEST............She let her little girl have a "food fight" for her b-day. Not only did it have food being thrown but we had a small section of "fear factor" for the kids. Which I am glad it was kids cause I probably wouldnt of made it pass the first round, but I was amazed at how much fun the kids had and how they were scared and were like BRING IT ON. I am pretty sure one girl got sick (yes people it was REAL food and not come bugs we caught in the yard) and the last round was everyone had to eat EVERYTHING that was left over and who ever ate it the fastest WON.....10$ at that, now if I knew there was 10$ up for grabs I might of entered! I was watching Kaylin, coaching her on, ames and me....you got this girl, you got it........I felt a weakness in my stomach, so I finally just patted her on the back and turned my head, I couldnt watch anymore I almost got sick.......I did freak out at one point when a bug landed on the table, but its ok, cause the kids were freaking out to, so I blended in....I think...well I hope!

Saturday NIGHT........................

OMG........I am not sure the full night of events and to be honest, I probably DONT WANT TO KNOW........A bunch of us went out saturday night to the normal starting point......and well......we started and closed the shop and then headed home, but here are a few key moments........
*i worked the door, checked IDs took money and even refused service to some people
*I for some reason, felt the need to bite someones tits (I will NOT name any names)
*for some reason, felt the need to have someone take a pic of my tit with the other girls tit I bit, that she in return ............returned the favor
*might of molested D west.....but thats nothing new.........
*Kissed someones grandpa
*B shoving shots down
*Fighting with anyone and everyone that would on the way home
*Ate 2, not 1 but 2 sandwiches and I will swear by it....THEY WERE THE BEST EVER
*Stole a diet Dr pepper from ATs house....not sure why, but it was in my purse when I got back to Bs, which she was busy doing the damn thing to notice we were not there
*I came to the profoundrealization......(LMAO, had to use that) that I might need to chill a bit.

I really dont want to go back for like a month...........I havent felt this way in a long long time!

but I did have a BLAST........just hope no one remembers it all, cause I sure the heck dont!

I might have to put the "rockstar" label on the shelf, but only temporaily!

Friday night

Ok, so I had a semi good weekend, weird one but did "party like a rockstar"

Friday=nice evening, Dad took us girls out to eat for a nice dinner, which always is an adventure itself. My dad is crazy..........but we had a nice dinner. Looking back on the night, it was a good night, semi wasted for most of the group, but still good times. We actually went thru a road block and the one person that had a double vodka and cran was driving, but it could of been worse. We all laughed and was amazed that we actually went thru this SOBER.........even the news was there, so it was a big deal and her we come....4 girls in a car just laughing and having a good time.
Ames-wow, look at all them cop lights
B-ya think it is a wreck
Em-if so then that would be the 2nd wreck right there in like a year
K-*silently freaking out*

Drive some more to see that it is a road block with like 30 + cops, I aint kidding

Ames-wow, I feel like I am in a parade
all of us just laughing ....why.....cause we are sober.......and it was funny
we all sat in amazement that we were cold sober, well ames had a little buzz, but she didnt really tell us till later that night.

Officer-hello ladies I am from Mont co sherriff.....
Ames- well I see that
Office-we are just checking for seat belts.......
Ames-safety first officer
Office-yes, yeah.......ok ladies have a good night (i think he thought we were funny, well Ames atleast)

We drive off, which I had to check the one hottie cop out at the end of the parade and I noticed that a lot of the cops were turning around looking at us, but we just thought they were checking us out........lol.........

For the next 10 miles we talk about .......what if we were..........what if this ............OMG we just got so lucky............

Pull in the drive way...........Ames didnt turn on the lights, we had the day running lights on the WHOLE time WHICH MEANS..................no Break lights, unless you turn the lights on actually, so everyone was looking at us cause we didnt have break lights on, but not a single one told us......

Other then that, the night that we HAD planned ........didnt happen........everything just feel apart, but other then that, it happened for a reason..........i know it did.

I watched a movie*